Fifty shades of Grey

I just got to chapter 11 of fifty shades of grey and....lord Jesus! Jeso! Holy shit, is it hot in here? Phew!! Anyway, *fanning myself* am definitely a little bit excited by all the ravishing...the alpha male domineering, oh and the countless orgasms ooooh* what is it I wanted to write about again? ....oh yeah, the money concept!! But first, the depression that comes with reading the romantic rendezvous of Ana and Mr. Grey! How can one one woman be so lucky , every woman dreams of a perfect 'first time' with a bed full of rose petals, candles, endless big O's and yes, that dashing mr. Right to top up the fantasy. Sad how most ladies end up with a nasty first time experience! Probably makes you squirm thinking about it!huh? Or smile ...what do I care! Am too preoccupied with Ana's account...

Back to the real issue, I feel as though the money bit is what makes Mr Grey all the more attractive. Say Ana had gone to interview a guy in kariobagi who runs a ...jua kali business, lets just try and picture it for arguments sake, so this kariobangi guy is equally handsome, does she feel intimidated by the sight of him stroking his sweaty lip? And when he passes by the shop she works at, is it cute or stalker-ish? See what am to driving at?? As in, replace the helicopter ride with a matatu ride and Mr. Grey looses his sex appeal!! By the time he gets to the point of showing her his "play room" given the kariobangi situation she's running for the hills scared he's a serial killer with a very weird fettish!

Money has come to define romance in this day and age, if its not expensive and fancy its not romantic enough! And as long as there is money involved , its regarded right and romantic!! Money is the modern day language of love And guess what, the concept is slowly becoming socially acceptable! A rich and powerful man can sexually use you, he doesn't even have to give you cash, the thought of being wanted by a man that could have any woman he wants makes it all worth it. If he can give the world to you he can freely make you a sex slave and its ''romantic". Am about to start chapter 11, hope a'l still be immune to all the bullshit when am done reading it. Lovely Night fellow insomniacs!

Where is my cool?

*picks up mic*
*clears throat*

I have a feeling I am no longer as cool as I used to be.

I am currently a twenty something year old who hardly parties anymore or tries out new stuff...its the kind of twenty something where you spend 70% of your day scared of the future and praying really hard you don't end up a failure. All your past mistakes flash before your eyes.... like that time you drunk too much and had a one night stand with a total stranger that probably did not look so healthy...too skinny maybe? Thin hair...*makes the catholic cross sign*. Oh boy oh boy! ...., that kind of thinking can suck the life out of anybody. 

My brother who is 17  could also be a major contributor to my feelings of being uncool. He somehow  thinks am old enough to be his guardian. Every god damn time he goes broke he hits me up ....sending me messages that prove too hard to understand. I know I misuse English but this little dude takes it to a whole new level....with x x's and abbreviations of words that are too short to be abbreviated in the first place. ..."hae d.a xiz xtill wain' 4 de cash" *screams* he somehow gets the spelling of CASH right though and when did 'dear' turn to 'd.a'? P.s I should be the fun sister he talks to about girls and fun stuff not pocket money and how hard life is. Anyway, I am putting him up for adoption...I hope its not too late. (Anyone interested in raising a hormonal teenager?) Maybe if I get rid of him I can feel young and cool again.

Being my age also means I need to be in a stable relationship otherwise am branded a grasshopper  ..eating here and there!  I am not complaining, in fact being taken comes with a lot of perks...like...like...ummh.., love! Yes, like love...but have you seen how hot men are getting this days?! Eh? Where were they during my single days...(1946) Back in the day most dudes I hang out with were either broke drunkards or immature kids who needed a ten year course on how to treat a woman. Now ...its raining gentlemen left right and centre, and i cant even flirt. Smh....

Somebody help me find my cool again!:

*walks away sheepishly*
*probably bumps into something *
*runs back to return the mic*