Sins of Men

Here lies a list of things I hate in
Men! I call them the sinful traits of men...Those with such traits should be arrested and burned at the stake (OK that's a bit extreme) but you get the drift....

The Conquest Man
Now this is the kind of man that  keeps tab on all the pussy he's put his dick in. His main aim in life is to copulate with more women than mswati himself. Where do I even start on this one...well its kiddish, immature, evil, witchcraft, abomination, ebola-ish, apocalyptic and plain sad! And Just when you think it cant get any worse with this type they go telling people, even girls they hope to bang the number they've conquered! Chill dude, my pussy is not a game of thrones kingdom. How do you even count? Throw a stone in a jar every time you have sex? Baah, so disgusting! That is how people get Cervical cancer!

The Stingy man
Live within your means but by all means spoil me within your means. Some guys though...Eish!! mkono wa birika I tell you! Not that I need
Chanel or Gucci but dude make an effort. Some men will call you over bang the living hell out of you and send you off with twenty Bob fare. The only reason you get the twenty Bob is to make sure you don't spend the night at their place! Advice to such Jamaas...invest in a pocket pussy *clears throat* obviously you will save more of those twenty bobs. Cheap bastards nkt!!

The Mtaa Guy
You know, that dude that says ,"utanipea vitu mrembo" translate that to any language and its still the most mtaa shit av ever heard.... and no! "Hakuna vitu unapata hapa buda, jipe shughli"
Unless you are "Alejandro" which is synonym for sexy ass man! Don't be vague about sex....please don't! Chances are, you will end up in jail with sexual harrasment charges!

The Self proclaimed Bad Boy
Hahahaha! Nigga pliz ...that shit stopped being cute 5 years ago when we were still teenagers!  Get in tune with your age. A twenty something year old bad boy is called an irresponsible man. Now you know.

Stone Age

I would hate to end up like them, I want to enjoy life in the simplest of forms. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy just life! But that is the hardest thing to do in this goddamn century. With all this social media platforms, Its like everyone has to conform otherwise you are dubbed uncool. Or people just assume you are poor!

Take instagram for instance, everybody's life is awesome...literary! Everyone captions their pictures "my life is awesome" and don't get me wrong...I appreciate positivity but when its overdone it just has this fake vibe to it. Where did realism disappear to? People will take pictures(selfies) in other peoples cars and say, "this traffic is driving me crazy!" Bet it doesn't drive you crazy when you are in that usual matatu...now that's a selfie I would like to see. With that sweaty guy seated next to you photo bombing !! Others will post big bundles of cash that don't belong to them with the caption ,"we out here grinding!" Or "I hustle hard bitch!" What are you grinding on exactly?? ....okay somebody hand me a gun!! Something has to be done!!

So as a way of keeping sane...I uninstalled my instagram app. My watsapp too...coz am tired of people hitting me up just coz they are bored and have nothing better to do! If its serious or urgent enough they will find time and credit to scroll for my number and call me... or just message me old school style. Yes am stone age like that! :-)

Life after death

Just the other day a friend of mine lost somebody close to her...and I could not help but wonder what is the point of our existence or "living", if you want it to sound meaningful, if at the end of the day we just die.

I know most of our religions believe in life after death but to a critical thinker its just that, a mere belief. Yet somehow it gives an individual a deep sense of peace even at the moment of death...research shows that non religious people are most scared of death, I guess its because it habours within it the fear of the unknown. Its like being told to walk into a dark room all alone and you have no idea what awaits you...it could be filled with beautiful things and all you have to do is switch on the light or.....full of monsters waiting to devour you!! Or maybe its just that, darkness!! Endless darkness.

Some German scientist conducted an experiment with 944 volunteers where they would put them in a state of clinical death for around 20 minutes then resuscitate them.
The long period was recently made possible by the development of the new cardiopulmonary recitation (CPR) machine called the auto pulse. Now here's the Wow effect, the machine has been used over the last few years to reanimate people who had been dead  for somewhere between 40 minutes to 1 hour!!
Anyway, The purpose of this crazy experiment was to try and establish the possibility of life after death by asking the participants to try and recall anything that happened during the "minutes of death".
All the subjects had some memory of their period of clinical death, most common memories were a feeling of detachment from the body, feelings of levitation, total serenity, security, warmth, the experience of absolute dissolution and the presence of an overwhelming light.
Note that the religious beliefs of the various subjects held no base to their memories.

So there you have it, Death is not the "dead end"! There is life after death. Science just echoed what religion has been telling us all this years.

Old Fashioned

I am curious if you guys also think its always best to wait for a man to make the first move. Personally i think it is. I have always taken the view that a man who is interested will make his interest known, and if he doesn't he is probably not that into you. And maybe you should just take a hint and walk away with the little shred of dignity you have left, well i think its best to do that before you get to a point where you simply wanna hang yourself.

When I have attempted to pursue guys in the past I never had it work out in my favor and i have never found that any of them had been secretly interested or shy or waiting for me to do anything – they just weren't interested at all. Is it safe to say that if a man is attracted to you and has no reason to think you’re taken or otherwise unavailable he would make some attempt to act on it? – or am I being way too old fashioned in my thinking?

Call it whatever you want but the bottom line is, He is not that into you if you are the one chasing. he may say yes to you and your vigorous sexual advances but  Lets face it, who would say no to a willing fuck? Certainly not anyone in the male species....

Don't be a thirsty Bitch...Just saying

Random rants

I have a tendency of making people feel a little more important than they actually are in my life. I let people down easy even when they disgust me, am the kind of girl that will keep contact with my one night stands so that they do not think i used them for mere sex and sometimes, actually most times i laugh out loud to some of the stalest jokes just to make the other person feel a little better about themselves.
I used to think that kind of behavior was okay and its what everyone does but honestly fuck that shit. I am choking and drowning in a pool of giving pity fucks...am sorry for using such vulgar words!
I think am emotionally unstable... i blame the Meru Blood flowing through my veins. Thank God am using my words,Not a machete like my forefathers did.

So in one of my tantrums  i deleted some of my blog posts....a few that implicated me in crimes, hahaa they were a little bit similar to written confessions. Some though, not that they would get me in trouble but because i felt some things are not worth my time and memory. Its a waste of my brain space....i only write an edited version of the shit that i go through so i do not expect anyone of you to understand what am ranting about right now. Bottom line is... F#$% the person that got me feeling like this today.

Drunk Dialing

I cannot look myself in the mirror right now, and its not because of the pale look am wearing this morning as a result of drinking myself silly yesterday. I am more embarrassed with the events that took place and honestly, i feel like a disgrace to all collected ladies out there.
Am the only person i know that seems to think alcohol is the perfect medium of communication. so what do i do? every time i get drunk, i think of all the things i could never bring myself to say sober and dial up people to give it to em.

Yesterday was no different, i called up my usual victim and to be frank with you, i don't even remember what i was telling the poor guy. I went on and on without giving him the chance to talk and when he finally got an opportunity, all he could say was, ''Kate, am gonna hang up!" yeah , somebody please shoot me in the head right now.

Next was a very cool guy, Lucky Man was hanging out with his dad so i settled for texting instead....just to recall a few of the dreadful messages ''I don't care how gangster you are you better treat me like a lady,'' ''I don't want this shit no more" ''fuck this crap'' ''if you with your dad or whoever..'' I cant go on....
To make matters worse he wont pick up my call this morning. How do i even start apologizing. I should be arrested for last nights heinous phone crimes....but the feeling i have this morning is punishment enough. Trust me.

Just Blubber

 Its amazing the number of perverted friends i have on Facebook. Every time i share a post tagged sex... 90 percent of the traffic is from you guys, yes you! i see you!! I get double the hits,but the problem with getting amazing hits on a post is, the next day i feel very blank and empty. its like every idea i come up with sounds shitty as hell.

Anyway, am thinking of writing about careers and education and tagging it ''blow jobs'' or  ''is it time to try anal?'' God, that sounds dirty! yes,... i feel very ashamed of myself right now. What kind of woman says such disgusting things?lol

Point is, i wanna get you guys reading constructive material. Like the recent university strike and all the problems facing Kenya! Politics and the likes. hahaha!! who am i kidding?, that is never happening! just know this,.....

So yesterday on my way home i got hit on by a drunk conductor....that's how a one hour journey feels like five hours. He showed me the money he made in that one round... Squeezing himself next to me! Asking for my number and promising future free rides. why am i even telling this story? i was so embarrassed and am really hoping no one in that city shuttle knew me.

And today i woke up to a watsapp message from my cousin asking if i stalk my Exes!! No, accusing me of stalking my exes!!I plan on writing about that itchy topic on my next blog post. For now,.some of us have to work so,  Xoxo!!