Old Fashioned

I am curious if you guys also think its always best to wait for a man to make the first move. Personally i think it is. I have always taken the view that a man who is interested will make his interest known, and if he doesn't he is probably not that into you. And maybe you should just take a hint and walk away with the little shred of dignity you have left, well i think its best to do that before you get to a point where you simply wanna hang yourself.

When I have attempted to pursue guys in the past I never had it work out in my favor and i have never found that any of them had been secretly interested or shy or waiting for me to do anything – they just weren't interested at all. Is it safe to say that if a man is attracted to you and has no reason to think you’re taken or otherwise unavailable he would make some attempt to act on it? – or am I being way too old fashioned in my thinking?

Call it whatever you want but the bottom line is, He is not that into you if you are the one chasing. he may say yes to you and your vigorous sexual advances but  Lets face it, who would say no to a willing fuck? Certainly not anyone in the male species....

Don't be a thirsty Bitch...Just saying

Random rants

I have a tendency of making people feel a little more important than they actually are in my life. I let people down easy even when they disgust me, am the kind of girl that will keep contact with my one night stands so that they do not think i used them for mere sex and sometimes, actually most times i laugh out loud to some of the stalest jokes just to make the other person feel a little better about themselves.
I used to think that kind of behavior was okay and its what everyone does but honestly fuck that shit. I am choking and drowning in a pool of giving pity fucks...am sorry for using such vulgar words!
I think am emotionally unstable... i blame the Meru Blood flowing through my veins. Thank God am using my words,Not a machete like my forefathers did.

So in one of my tantrums  i deleted some of my blog posts....a few that implicated me in crimes, hahaa they were a little bit similar to written confessions. Some though, not that they would get me in trouble but because i felt some things are not worth my time and memory. Its a waste of my brain space....i only write an edited version of the shit that i go through so i do not expect anyone of you to understand what am ranting about right now. Bottom line is... F#$% the person that got me feeling like this today.

Drunk Dialing

I cannot look myself in the mirror right now, and its not because of the pale look am wearing this morning as a result of drinking myself silly yesterday. I am more embarrassed with the events that took place and honestly, i feel like a disgrace to all collected ladies out there.
Am the only person i know that seems to think alcohol is the perfect medium of communication. so what do i do? every time i get drunk, i think of all the things i could never bring myself to say sober and dial up people to give it to em.

Yesterday was no different, i called up my usual victim and to be frank with you, i don't even remember what i was telling the poor guy. I went on and on without giving him the chance to talk and when he finally got an opportunity, all he could say was, ''Kate, am gonna hang up!" yeah , somebody please shoot me in the head right now.

Next was a very cool guy, Lucky Man was hanging out with his dad so i settled for texting instead....just to recall a few of the dreadful messages ''I don't care how gangster you are you better treat me like a lady,'' ''I don't want this shit no more" ''fuck this crap'' ''if you with your dad or whoever..'' I cant go on....
To make matters worse he wont pick up my call this morning. How do i even start apologizing. I should be arrested for last nights heinous phone crimes....but the feeling i have this morning is punishment enough. Trust me.

Just Blubber

 Its amazing the number of perverted friends i have on Facebook. Every time i share a post tagged sex... 90 percent of the traffic is from you guys, yes you! i see you!! I get double the hits,but the problem with getting amazing hits on a post is, the next day i feel very blank and empty. its like every idea i come up with sounds shitty as hell.

Anyway, am thinking of writing about careers and education and tagging it ''blow jobs'' or  ''is it time to try anal?'' God, that sounds dirty! yes,... i feel very ashamed of myself right now. What kind of woman says such disgusting things?lol

Point is, i wanna get you guys reading constructive material. Like the recent university strike and all the problems facing Kenya! Politics and the likes. hahaha!! who am i kidding?, that is never happening! just know this,.....

So yesterday on my way home i got hit on by a drunk conductor....that's how a one hour journey feels like five hours. He showed me the money he made in that one round... Squeezing himself next to me! Asking for my number and promising future free rides. why am i even telling this story? i was so embarrassed and am really hoping no one in that city shuttle knew me.

And today i woke up to a watsapp message from my cousin asking if i stalk my Exes!! No, accusing me of stalking my exes!!I plan on writing about that itchy topic on my next blog post. For now,.some of us have to work so,  Xoxo!!

Love and Sex

This post may contain graphic content considered offensive by some of you. Parental guidance is advised ...

So, advise to the wise from the wise lol , Never sleep with a person you are in love with!! No that came out wrong...more like never sleep with someone for the first time after you have fallen in love with them. Unconventional? think about it .....if he makes your heart skip a beat and distorts your breathing rhythm every time he walks by oh, and every time he touches you your stomach turns into a butterfly zoo, then what happens when he actually puts his *you know what* in your *you know what*? Heart attack? Death?

.All am saying is, it is not worth the risk.....
Not to mention the pressure that comes with it, performance is no longer one sided in this generation. Ladies also wanna put it down like its your freaking birthday and own your ass! My advice ? fuck him first then figure out the love thing later, and if you have already fallen for the Nigga ...DON'T DO IT! seriously though, do not! Friend zone his ass. Otherwise you'll just end up a love sick puppy, obsessed and wrecked.

You are all welcome!! xoxo

Nairobi Night Life.

Yesterday was epic! As a way of saying bye bye to alcohol (yes I still plan on quitting) ,I decided to go out with an old friend or rather my "high school sweet heart" in his own words. We were sipping a little bit and we thought, why not turn this up? His friend had a few joints and we decided to step out and light them up (notice how bad ass I sound right now)

After we were done breaking the Law, we started taking a stroll to waft the smell away from our clothes before we could go back to the club.

Apparently we were walking towards cops!! We had not seen them so we walked right into them... 

"Nyinyi kujeni hapa! " one of them yells at us. I have never been so freaked out in my entire life. I thought of running away since the one that called us was a little fat *no offence* but after having a look around and realising the place was swarmed with them i thought against it. And with the recent state of insecurity I would end up shot or something. How had we not seen them previously?

So we walked over to the cops trying to look sober and in the best behaviour a high person can fake. As we get close he says "Aiyaya Kwanza nini hiyo mnanuka?" He grabs the hands of one of the guys and smells them...and we know right there and then we are fucked! He does the same to Tim and I figure I should probably mask my smell so I dip my fingers in my cup so that they smell like liqueur instead

"Mnajua hiyo ni offence ya miaka kumi Na nne? Si hiyo ni bhangi? "

I can't handle jail. ..I would kill myself in there so I break into a silly choking laugh trying to make the guy less grumpy. Turns out that shit doesn't work if you are drunk coz then you just look drunk!!  

They start escorting us to their lorry all this time reminding us of the time we would probably face........more scary than it sounds really. One of them chucks hand cuffs and he wants to put them on one of the guys. ..I have never seen handcuffs before but I can assure you any dreams I had about bdsm just ended there! ! So they try to plead with them and even give them a little something. .*bribe* yes welcome to Kenya!! But the cops won't listen  all this time am standing a little further from them....trying to figure out how I can sneak away and go get my friend (Mose) so he can help bail his friends out. 

Turns out we were hanging out with one of themost street wise guys I have ever met ..when I say street, I mean like the real streets , the hood streets, convicted kind of streets. He comes up with the most amazing lie..

"Enyewe boss mi ni boys wa estlando and I wanted to show this rich girl I can really party (p.s I still wallow in poverty) sa Nimejikaza Nikamleta westie . (I had just met him through my friend) Huyu dame hata hajui amevuta nini sai buda. (P.s I can recognise weed from a mile away) blah blah" He goes on and on about how life is hard and the mistakes he has made chasing me..or shit like that.

This touches the cop enough he actually starts giving the dude fatherly advice on how chics are never worth the trouble and effort. In this "emotional" moment I manage to sneak away and go get my friend so he could help...but by the time we get back the cops had let them go. He even gave the dude his money back!! How often does that happen,?

Respect to Tim!!

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, being the only girl I got to check out booty with the dudes. The images still haunt me! I have seen more botty than any woman should have to in one night. I  Listened to all the sex stories a lady can handle! ! Yes Men talk to...and their way of describing it is worse!! To say the least i was given a tour into the Minds of Men...and it is a filthy place!! 

Nonetheless it was the most fun I have had in a while.

By the way it's always nice to get reviews from you guys..from my fb inbox , watsapp messages to privately shared comments. I appreciate them...like this conversation I had:

MOSE: ...yea, she actually has a blog.

TIM: what is it about?

MOSE: It's like a female version of Nairobi Half Life ( movie )

TIM: But all the women in Nairobi Half Life are whores. ..

(Laughter)

(Silence)

(More laughter)

ME: It's just a journal. A'l send you the link Tim..

(Both Tim and Mose burst out laughing uncontrollably )

Till my next escapade ...xoxo.

Today

Today i will avoid talking about shit in my life and concentrate on the positive. Like my friends who i love to death and my family all of whom i care for deeply not to forget my amazing Man who is the major reason for my existence.

I will no longer dwell on people who do not add value to my life, i will learn to walk away cause i know am worth so much more and i realize i cannot turn evil people into good people. I know i have a high level of tolerance but I am not a miracle worker.

Today i learn not to sugar coat things ,to call a spade a spade and not a big spoon, to differentiate friendly teases from emotional abuse. To identify love in a heap of lust.

Today i open a new chapter in my life. a chapter filled with laughter joy and happiness. Today, i honor Kate and the people in Kate's life. I would be nothing without you guys.

Hope you all enjoy your weekends. My plan? Eat as much junk food as i can lay my hands on, go out with a few friends, you know, the usual. oh! am probably getting a tattoo this weekend...will update you on how that goes down!!
xoxo