After we were done breaking the Law, we started taking a stroll to waft the smell away from our clothes before we could go back to the club.
Apparently we were walking towards cops!! We had not seen them so we walked right into them...
"Nyinyi kujeni hapa! " one of them yells at us. I have never been so freaked out in my entire life. I thought of running away since the one that called us was a little fat *no offence* but after having a look around and realising the place was swarmed with them i thought against it. And with the recent state of insecurity I would end up shot or something. How had we not seen them previously?
So we walked over to the cops trying to look sober and in the best behaviour a high person can fake. As we get close he says "Aiyaya Kwanza nini hiyo mnanuka?" He grabs the hands of one of the guys and smells them...and we know right there and then we are fucked! He does the same to Tim and I figure I should probably mask my smell so I dip my fingers in my cup so that they smell like liqueur instead
"Mnajua hiyo ni offence ya miaka kumi Na nne? Si hiyo ni bhangi? "
I can't handle jail. ..I would kill myself in there so I break into a silly choking laugh trying to make the guy less grumpy. Turns out that shit doesn't work if you are drunk coz then you just look drunk!!
They start escorting us to their lorry all this time reminding us of the time we would probably face........more scary than it sounds really. One of them chucks hand cuffs and he wants to put them on one of the guys. ..I have never seen handcuffs before but I can assure you any dreams I had about bdsm just ended there! ! So they try to plead with them and even give them a little something. .*bribe* yes welcome to Kenya!! But the cops won't listen all this time am standing a little further from them....trying to figure out how I can sneak away and go get my friend (Mose) so he can help bail his friends out.
Turns out we were hanging out with one of themost street wise guys I have ever met ..when I say street, I mean like the real streets , the hood streets, convicted kind of streets. He comes up with the most amazing lie..
"Enyewe boss mi ni boys wa estlando and I wanted to show this rich girl I can really party (p.s I still wallow in poverty) sa Nimejikaza Nikamleta westie . (I had just met him through my friend) Huyu dame hata hajui amevuta nini sai buda. (P.s I can recognise weed from a mile away) blah blah" He goes on and on about how life is hard and the mistakes he has made chasing me..or shit like that.
This touches the cop enough he actually starts giving the dude fatherly advice on how chics are never worth the trouble and effort. In this "emotional" moment I manage to sneak away and go get my friend so he could help...but by the time we get back the cops had let them go. He even gave the dude his money back!! How often does that happen,?
Respect to Tim!!
The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, being the only girl I got to check out booty with the dudes. The images still haunt me! I have seen more botty than any woman should have to in one night. I Listened to all the sex stories a lady can handle! ! Yes Men talk to...and their way of describing it is worse!! To say the least i was given a tour into the Minds of Men...and it is a filthy place!!
Nonetheless it was the most fun I have had in a while.
By the way it's always nice to get reviews from you guys..from my fb inbox , watsapp messages to privately shared comments. I appreciate them...like this conversation I had:
MOSE: ...yea, she actually has a blog.
TIM: what is it about?
MOSE: It's like a female version of Nairobi Half Life ( movie )
TIM: But all the women in Nairobi Half Life are whores. ..
(Laughter)
(Silence)
(More laughter)
ME: It's just a journal. A'l send you the link Tim..
(Both Tim and Mose burst out laughing uncontrollably )
Till my next escapade ...xoxo.
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